【Watch Captain Hooker and Peter Porn (1987)】

Just before September rolls around,Watch Captain Hooker and Peter Porn (1987) college students far and wide start prepping for the year ahead — typically with a massive shopping trip to Target.

There are so many things one needs to live comfortably in a dorm including (to name just a few items): shower shoes, a million pens, a laundry basket, and ear plugs (for when your roommate decides to pick up acoustic guitar.)

SEE ALSO: 10 gifts that high school grads will be *so glad* they have for college

But more often than not, a few useless items marketed as dorm necessities sneak their way onto the shopping lists of college newbies. It’s time to stop the madness.

Save yourself the cash and the grief of schlepping these truly useless items to school this year. These are the 9 items you'll be glad you left behind:

An iron

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College is one of the very few opportunities you have in life to indulge in not looking your best everyday. Milk it for all it’s worth, my friend.

Bed risers

Original image has been replaced. Credit: Mashable

Is there anything in this world more useless than bed risers? These cup-like tools merely raise your bed up an extra couple of inches. That's it. That's all they do.

Those terrible plastic tubs

Original image has been replaced. Credit: Mashable

Do not be fooled by the promise that jamming your stuff into plastic tubs will keep you organized. They take up more space than you'll have in your teeny, tiny dorm room, and you'll end up filling them with junk.

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Odds are that your residence hall room comes with some sort of a dresser and plenty of closet space, so keep away from the tubs and organizers. Should you still feel you need it after you've moved in, you can always pick one up.

Clichéd posters and "dorm decor”

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No one will be impressed with your Pulp Fiction poster or your bounty of beaded throw pillows. And God help you if you adorn your room with anything pot-related. It's been done.

A microwave

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I recognize this is a controversial take. Hear me out.

There’s a strong likelihood that a microwave already exists in your dorm's common room. Having your own is a guarantee that your room will eventually smell of popcorn and frozen burritos. Why risk stinking up your cozy solace from hectic college life.

Candles

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I'm not saying that you’ll definitely set off the fire alarm, but you will probably set off the fire alarm. Everyone hates the person who causes a late-night fire drill. Don't be that person.

Your personal library

You're never going to re-read them. Credit: Sandy Huffaker / Stringer/Getty Images

On the off chance that your time isn't completely consumed with textbook reading, it's possible you'll have time to read for leisure. Regardless, there's no reason to bring your full book collection with you to college.

We know it's tempting to show off the fact that you own and have (maybe) finished Infinite Jest,and the collected works of Philip Roth, but it's probably best to leave those at home in order to save space. And like, do you really want to be that guy?

A scientific calculator (if you’re not a STEM major)

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Put the cash you would've spent on this towards something you really need, like a good foam mattress topper. Sleep's important!

A printer

Don't mark yourself as the person people come to when their printer balances are low. Credit: Bibica/Getty Images/iStockphoto

Most colleges have an ample amount of printers across campus to suit their students’ many printing needs, so there is absolutely no point in bringing one from home or — gasp — investing in a new one.

Looking for the things you actually doneed? Right this way.

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