【The Eyes Of A Drunk Female Employee Are Erotic】

Per Ryan Gosling's request,The Eyes Of A Drunk Female Employee Are Erotic we are beginning the study of Kenergy. Right here. Right now. 

Kenergy, a concept first introduced by the Barbieco-star in early 2022, is a Ken's guiding light. It defines all the Kens, from Gosling's Beach Ken to the infamous Surf Ken. And it's now become a general term for a certain kind of loveable "boyfren" who is completely devoted to his "girlfren" – think Tom Holland, but exclusively when he talks about his beloved Zendaya.

SEE ALSO: 'Barbie' review: Bonkers, bold, and a bit of a miracle

The elusive concept has also been a key part of the Barbiemovie press cycle, with Gosling bringing it up at every turn and making it a fixation of Barbiefans, brands, and meme-ersalike. 

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But for those of us that are "a Ken, or just Ken-curious, or Ken-fused," to quote Gosling, what does it reallymean to have Kenergy? 

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After careful study of Gosling's Kenergy koans, we've discovered its tenets. It must be noted that Kenergy comes from within, it's not imposed – we can tell if you're faking it. Someone with Kenergy is earnest, loyal, generous, and agreeable, with a delicious lack of interiority; what's on the surface is what you get. Kenergy involves an intimate knowledge of tween girl culture, as well. We are talking horses, headbands, and a yearning to be involved and noticed. Similarly, to be Kenergetic is to have a really strong sense of a moral code while remaining a force of chaos. While Kenergy is inherently tied up in a deep desire to be loved, it's not about sex appeal; rather, Kenergy is about wearing your heart on your sleeve. 

Finally, and most importantly, Kenergy is summoned through the absurd. It embraces an incomprehensible way of looking at the world that evokes whimsy and wonder. And Gosling's appearances throughout the Barbiepress tour have done just that. 

As the first entry in the academic canon of the study of Kenergetics, here are Gosling's most Ken-tastic quotes, ranked on a one to five scale based on the pillars of Kenergy. We are patiently waiting for it to be peer reviewed. In the meantime, perhaps we should fund research into where Ken ends and Gosling begins. 

15. "I'm sure you're all aware of the Coco Chanel rule: Before you leave the house, you take one thing off. The Ken rule is, you put three things on."

Credit: Mashable / Ian Moore

Gosling speaking about his top Ken essentials for GQ Magazine.

14. "Thanks, my Ken."

Credit: Mashable / Ian Moore

Gosling thanking someone for handing him his trusty surfboard, for GQ.

13. "I wouldn’t dare Ken-splain the Barbie movie."

Credit: Mashable / Ian Moore

Gosling when asked by the New York Timeshow he would describe the tone of the Barbiemovie.

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Ken ken listen. Credit: Dale Robinette / Mashable composite

12. "This is for real-world time. This is for Barbieland time. And then I have this one because it tracks the moon's phases, so you can keep track of the morning waves."

Credit: Mashable / Ian Moore

Gosling describing the reason for owning three watches, for GQ.

11. "Ken sang that song. I never sang like that in my life. I don’t know why or how that happened."

Credit: Mashable / Ian Moore

Gosling in response to a question from the Los Angeles Timesabout performing the original song "I’m Just Ken" for the Barbiemovie.

10. "[Ken's perfect day] would be if Barbie dropped something and she didn't notice it, and he got to pick it up and say, 'Hey, Barbie, you dropped this.'"

Credit: Mashable / Ian Moore

Gosling explained Ken's ideal day in an interview with IGTV, but he's made repeated reference to the joy of helping Barbie pick things up.

Boyfren / girlfren behavior. Credit: Courtesy of Warner Bros. Pictures / Mashable composite

9. "They were confused. Why Ken? They don't even call him Ken. One of them is named Darrell. And Darrell works at a grocery store. One of the Barbies' names is Gym Class. And Gym Class met Darrell at the grocery store, but Gym Class, she's focusing on herself right now."

Credit: Mashable / Ian Moore

Gosling describing his daughters' reaction to the news he'd be taking on the role of Ken and how they play with their own dolls, for the New York Times. Gosling has said the deciding factor in him taking this role was seeing a Ken doll facedown in his backyard, next to a squished lemon.

8. "Sunglasses. Ken's gotta have at least two pairs at all times. You want the first pair to be something Barbie would also wear. She needs them for whatever reason, you have them at the ready. Dark ones are great because they can hide your sadness. You never want to risk bumming Barbie out. That's also why you have a second pair, matte or mirrored, so you can reflect Barbie's greatness, 'cause that's really your job. She can use them to put on lipstick while you hide your sadness."

Credit: Mashable / Ian Moore

Gosling explaining the importance of having two pairs of sunglasses on hand, for GQ.

7. "A faux mink. If you can't define yourself by your thoughts or experiences or accomplishments, a faux mink can do a lot of the heavy lifting for you. You don't need any of that, 'cause you're the Ken in the faux mink."

Credit: Mashable / Ian Moore

Gosling on another Ken-sential, a faux mink, for GQ.

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Wait, is that a Ken in a faux mink?! Credit: Courtesy of Warner Bros. Pictures / Mashable composite

6. "Books are important, but I just have book. But if you have more than one, you have books. Preferably ones about horses. What can I say? Books make people think that you have interests, and Ken's number one personality trait is just to look interested in things."

Credit: Mashable / Ian Moore

Gosling talking about his horse book, forGQ.

5. "They're Kenning all over the place. They're Kenning all over each other. They're Kenning everywhere. And they're Kenning so hard that they're gonna Ken themselves blind if they don't stop Kenning."

Credit: Mashable / Ian Moore

Gosling in a iHollywood TV behind the scenes clip explaining how the cast of Kens is Kenning.

Does insurance cover Kenning-induced injuries? Credit: Courtesy of Warner Bros. Pictures / Mashable composite

4. "It keeps your name in the mix. If you wear them high, it keeps your name out there. It's easy to get lost in the shuffle. It's also good because then if Barbie ever says, 'Is that Ken written on your underwear?' you can say, 'Under where?' And that's all you want, you just want to share a moment with Barbie." 

Credit: Mashable / Ian Moore

Gosling chatting about the need for Kenderwear, for GQ.

3. "My Ken's job is 'Beach.' I'm not Surf Ken, I'm Beach Ken. I am not claiming to be a Surf Ken, so I don't want any Surf Kens trolling me in the comments section. I am not claiming to have any of the sort of spirituality that comes with surfing or any of that insight. I'm just using it for scale, 'cause when you are a human-sized Ken, that's very important, and so you need a human-sized surfboard to communicate that scale. You can hold it, and I've also found that you can lean."

Credit: Mashable / Ian Moore

Gosling delineating the difference between Beach Ken and Surf Ken, for GQ.

He can beach you off any day. Credit: Courtesy Warner Bros. Pictures / Mashable composite

2. "The Ken thing is tough. It’s a bit like that Cinnabon mix: Once you open that canister, it's very hard to… Once you open it, you're making Cinnabons, and you're loving it."

Credit: Mashable / Ian Moore

Gosling explaining how hard it was to say goodbye to Ken for BuzzFeed.

1. "I went on the ride, and I'm still going on it. I don’t want to leave the park. They are kicking me out. 'The park is closing, sir.' But I ordered churros, and they are coming, I swear."

Credit: Mashable / Ian Moore

Gosling on the experience of reading the script for Barbie for the first time for the New York Times.

Barbie opens in theaters July 21.

Topics Film Memes Celebrities