【Sexy Sisters】

In a just world,Sexy Sisters Season 8 of Game of Throneswould be airing right now, but because large scale television productions "take time to create" especially when the expectations are "earth-shatteringly high," it's not. Boo.

However, just because Season 8 isn't coming out this year doesn't mean that fans aren't hungry for sweet, sweet speculation when it comes to the hit show's anticipated ending. To serve that need, here's how some of Game of Thrones's minor characters might impact the final season.

1. Kinvara

Anyone would be forgiven for forgetting poor Kinvara, the High Priestess of R'hllor who had one scene with Tyrion and Varys in Season 6, but Melisandre's banishment may bring this fiery lady back with a vengeance. She was introduced as a High Priestess of the Red Temple of Volantis, and her brief conversation with Tyrion showed that the priests of her temple are huge fans of Daenerys. She believes that Daenerys and her dragons were "sent to lead the people against the darkness in this war and in the great war still to come," which happens to be the war Daenerys is fighting right now.

Why is this important? Because before Melisandre skipped town, she told Varys that she is going to Volantisbut will return to die in Westeros. It's entirely possible that Melisandre is going to Volantis to visit that big ole Red Temple they have, which is the largest Red Temple in the world of Game of Thronesand is also home to the Fiery Hand, a R'hllor-worshipping private army that answers to the High Priest of the Red Temple. High Priest, that is, or Priestess. If Kinvara is still alive, she may be the woman in charge of this army and might send them to Westeros to help her favorite dragon queen.

2. Baby Sam

Little Sam has been an adorable ray of hope for humanity ever since Samwell Tarly smuggled him out of the horrifying carousel of sacrificial wildling incest into which he was born. The question "what does Craster do with his sons" was a mystery for the first few seasons of Game of Thrones, and audiences were shocked to learn that they are given to the Night King for transformation into White Walkers.

Aside from the frankly hilarious implication that there's an ice nursery filled with White Walker toddlers learning how to read and wight somewhere north of the wall, there's also the reality that Craster's sons have been amplifying the ranks of White Walkers for decades — how many of the current White Walkers are Baby Sam's brother-cousins? Now that the Night King is coming south, will he have beef with Sam for stealing the son he was promised?

3 & 4. Alys Karstark and Ned Umber

The young actors who portrayed Ned Umber and Alys Karstark in Season 7 are both signed on to reappear in Season 8, so something will probably happen with (or to) them as the new season unfolds. These two northern lordlings were the children of houses who swore loyalty to the Boltons and lost in the Battle of the Bastards, and Jon pisses Sansa off by returning their castles and lands to them in exchange for fealty.

Right, about those castles. The seat of House Karstark is Karhold, and official Game of Thronesmaps place Karhold as a very northern castle along the eastern coast of Westeros...which means it's directly south of Eastwatch, the Night's Watch bastion that got blown to hell by the Night King in the Season 7 finale. House Umber's seat is called Last Hearth, so named because it's the last castle on the road up to the wall, and Last Hearth sits between Karhold and Winterfell. The presence of Alys and Ned in Season 8 might indicate the Night King's path of destruction if he intends to come for House Stark (and since we know he's been gunning for Bran since the whole "hold the door" thing, that may as well be a given). Prayers for Alys and Ned.

5. The Captain's Daughter

Everyone knows about what happened to Theon Greyjoy's penis and it's not great, so there's no need to dwell on it. Flash back though, to when Theon had a penis and was putting it to good use in Season 2, when he uh...romanced the captain's daughter on the ship that took him from Robb Stark's camp to visit his d-bag father on Pyke. It's one of Game of Thrones's infamous "sexposition" scenes, but there's also a short exchange that might change Theon's future.

The Captain's Daughter mentions that when Theon is gone, her father will punish her and she'd rather leave the ship to become Theon's "salt wife," but he brusquely turns her down. Did she want to flee the ship because she was afraid of her father, or was she afraid she might be pregnant and being a "salt wife" would force Theon to acknowledge her child? It's improbable, but it is possible, and if Theon finds out that he has a child (who, by the way, would be Yara's heir to a liberated Iron Islands, according to her deal with Daenerys), it might give him something new to fight or die for.

6. Gendry

OK, so Gendry isn't a minor character, but there's a lot more going on with Robert Baratheon's hammer-toting bastard son than the show lets on. Robert Baratheon's grandfather married a Targaryen princess, making Robert Queen Daenerys's second cousin and Gendry her second cousin once removed (he's also Jon's third cousin). He hasn't had a chance to meet the dragons yet, but it's possible that Gendry's dragon blood might come in handy at a crucial moment.

Further complicating the issue of Gendry's dragon blood is the looooong history of House Baratheon, which was founded by Orys Baratheon way back in the time of Aegon's conquest. Orys Baratheon was very likely the bastard brother of Aegon "The Conquerer" Targaryen, making the entire Baratheon line close cousins of the dragon kings. Will any of this matter? Who knows! Sure is fun to think about though.